by Michelle Hodges

“People become what they believe to be true about themselves.” Anna Nash began Friday of the women’s retreat swinging for the fence. No easing us into her topic, no gentle introduction. When she began to speak, I became hooked.

I entered this retreat weekend feeling extremely disconnected and lost. Since January, I've really been struggling with my identity and purpose. For the last three years, I have had real, immediate battles to fight. I was the mother of a very sick child, a patient on my own fighting for treatment, and a spouse walking her husband through the loss of a parent. These were hard, significant trials that demanded all of my attention. In January, all the fighting ended. For three months now, I’ve felt empty, hollow, and depressed. I quickly fell back into the old habits of avoidance and excuses. I avoided worship, Bible studies, and my friends. I’ve made up excuses for the mounting tensions in my home that had everything to do with me. I even made up excuses for writing this blog post that was due a month ago. But on Friday night, when Anna began to speak, I knew that I would not and could not escape the weekend unaffected.

Those of us raised in the PCA are extremely familiar with the first question of the shorter catechism.

Q. What is man’s chief end?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

This is our Primary purpose as Christians. Our purpose is to take the gifts of hope and peace, given to us freely, and in turn, freely share these gifts with others. Now, let’s take that one step further. Let’s take this shared purpose and make it personal. We must each connect our passions and our God-given gifts to our individual purposes. This was the theme for our weekend. Each and every one of us was given a unique set of gifts and strengths. It is our job, our purpose, to use those gifts for God’s glory and the expansion of the Kingdom. Ephesians 2 makes this so very clear:

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

By the middle of Saturday, I could hardly sit still. Our small groups were encouraging each other as we made lists of our passions, our strengths, and our weaknesses. It was so refreshing to learn and to realize that even my weaknesses have a role in my purpose. My weaknesses should drive me toward the appreciation and cultivation of my strengths. A quote from our workbook said it best, “When you invest in developing your strengths more than focusing on how to compensate for your weaknesses, there is much more potential for growth and improvement.” Paul addressed this as well in his second letter to the church at Corinth.

“But He said to me, ‘ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

To close out our Saturday, our task was to write personal mission statements. I’m not sure what my next purpose in the kingdom is yet, but I do know what mission it must fulfill. My mission MUST be about grace. Grace is my word. My middle child’s name is Hannah Grace, Grace Grace. I can trace grace through the story of my life. I have worn the word on my arm for three years now. For me, it’s all about grace. Grace Alone. So, when the time came for each of us to write our mission statements, I did not have to think. I did not hesitate. The words were crystal clear in the front of my mind. I humbly ask that you would all hold me to this and pray for me as I seek God’s will to fulfill the mission I now claim as mine.

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain.” -1 Corinthians 15:10